Not so perfect
by XxxGleek ForeverxxX
Summary: This is a PezBerry fanfic. Faberry friendship. Hope you like it. Mentions of self harm and eating disorder.
1. Chapter 1

**Not so perfect**

When Rachel Berry got out of her car, she was greeted by cheerios. There were about five. Surprisingly the Unholy Trinity weren't among looked for a way to escape but to no avail. She held her breath and closed her eyes. At that moment icy cold liquid was thrashed at her from all directions. It was as if she was being bitch slapped by an ice burg. She could hear a crowd forming, laughing at her. She quickly mad her way through it holding her head high, to the washroom.

She locked the door to prevent anyone from coming in. There, her back against the door, she collapsed on the floor crying. As she sat there, Rachel had a sudden urge to take the pain away. She quickly got up and looked through her bag. She felt the object and picked it up, softly running her hands along it. She slowly lifted up her sleeve to reveal a pattern of scars lined up, some deeper than pressed the razor on her arm, and watched the blood slowly trickle down her it. She sat there, transfixed by the sight before her.A few minutes later she got up and cleaned herself up, changing into new clothes. When she had finished she made her way out of the washroom.

You see Rachel Berry wasn't as perfect as everyone thought she was. She had a deep dark secret that no one would find out. Or so she thought.

* * *

Quinn, Santana and Brittany made their down the busy corridor. Instantly, people parted for them like the sea. Everyone knew not to get in their way. As they made their way to the choir room, the say the Glee kids in their usual seats. No one noticed the tiny diva in the corner. Well Santana did. The trio took their normal seats. As Santana made eye contact with Rachel, she notice the lack of sparkle in them. She was about to approach her when Mr Shue came in. He was late as usual.

"Well guys as you know, sectionals isn't until a few months so we have to prepare." he began "Does anyone have anything they want to preform?"

All eyes were on Rachel. She slowly lifted her head up.

"Umm, no thank you Mr Shue" she whispered

"Are you sure?" he asked a bit surprised.

Rachel nodded and the lesson went on. She was quiet for the rest of it. Only Santana noticed. The lesson soon ended and it was lunch time

* * *

As the cheerios lined up, Brittany decided to speak.

"San, can we sit at the Glee table today?" she asked.

"Ummm, i'm not sure Britt."

"Please Sanny" At that moment Santana knew she had to give in. After all, who could say no to Brittany's adorable pout?

"Fine"

"Yay!" squealed Brittany. She skipped all the way to the table and sat down. Everyone was busy chatting away. Rachel looked down at her food as if it was some repulsive thing. Santana made a mental not to confront the diva about it later. A few minutes later, she got up and excused herself. She rushed out of the cafeteria. Santana followed her.

* * *

Rachel went into the washroom and pulled her razor out. She quickly rolled up her sleeve and started cutting. Four cuts later she sat there and watched her blood drip on the floor.

* * *

Santana entered the washroom and found Rachel sitting on the floor, her arm bloody, with a razor in her hand...

* * *

**Well guys this is my first ever fanfic. Plzz review. If you don't like it i'll stop, if you do i'll carry on.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Santana stood there, unable to speak. Rachel hadn't noticed her yet. Questions ran through her mind. She needed answers, and she needed them now!

"Rachel, what have you done? Santana asked. Startled by the sudden company, Rachel's head shot up. She stared at Santana, her eyes wide. Unable to explain, she got up and started to clean herself up. Santana stood there, observing Rachel's every move. When she had finished, she was about to make her way out but Santana grabbed her wrist. A jolt of pain ran through Rachel's arm, causing her to slightly flinch. Noticing this, Santana dropped her wrist. Again Rachel tried to leave, but the latina quickly moved in front of her to block the exit.

Sighing Rachel said "What do you want Santana?"

"I want to know why." Anger bubbled up in Rachel

"YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHY?" she was shouting now.

Shocked at the diva's new found anger, Santana just nodded. She had to admit, she was a bit frightened but was prepared to stand her ground.

"I'm in the Glee club but they just want me for my voice. I am constantly tormented by everyone in this school! My dad's don't want me because they are always traveling!" Hot angry tears were threatening to make their way down Rachel's face.

"Someone can only take so much pain, Santana, this is the only way I can cope." Santana didn't know how to respond. Rachel took this as a sign to carry on.

"This is the only way I can escape anything. It makes me feel like I'm in control of something in my life."

Rachel couldn't stop the tears anymore. At this moment Santana decided to speak.

"Rach, I'm so sorry" she said softly. She slowly started to walk closer to her but was stopped.

"Don't" Rachel said. She had intended it to be strong and fierce but Santana could see her trembling. There Rachel quickly made her way out of the washroom.

All day, Rachel couldn't stop thinking about Santana. The fact that someone knew about her cutting was enough to make her stop breathing. Fortunately she only had one more lesson to get through. History.

She entered the classroom and froze. There sitting in the seat next to her was the one and only Santana Lopez. She took a deep breath and made her way to her seat, completely shutting out Santana.

The lesson was long and boring. Santana almost had a heart attack when someone tapped her on her shoulder.

"Miss Lopez, if my lesson is boring, feel free to leave." Said her history teacher.

"Sorry" she mumbled her cheeks as red as a tomato. Rachel found this amusing and tried to stifle a laugh. Santana glared at her causing her to erupt with laughter.

"What's so funny" asked the teacher.

"Umm nothing" It was Rachel's time to blush. This made Santana smile.

Later, Santana passed a not to Rachel. It read: We need to talk.

No we don't she passed back a not.

My house or yours?

Santana we don't need to talk.

Okay yours. Do you have a car?

Yes but I walked to school today. Why?

I'm driving you.

Rachel sighed, knowing she couldn't argue with the cheerio.

When the bell went, Rachel got into Santana's car and they drove to Rachel's house. Both girls knew that it was going to be a long night.


	3. Chapter 3

Not so perfect

When they reached Rachel's house, they got out of the car and Rachel opened the door. They went to Rachel's room and sat down.

"So what was it that you wanted to talk about?" Rachel said. She self consciously pulled down her sleeves.

"Roll up your sleeves." Santana said

"I will do no such thing Santana"

"Roll it up, or I'll roll it up for you" said Santana.

Sighing Rachel knew that she had no choice. She slowly rolled up her sleeves to reveal a number of scars on her arm, some old and some new. Santana went to Rachel and sat down. She took her arm and studied the cuts. All of a sudden, Rachel found her shoes very interesting.

"How many times do you cut in a week?" Santana asked. There was no reply. She shifted her head to see Rachel, her face soaked with tears, staring at the floor.

"Hey" Santana said softly.

"Rachel look at me please. Pleaded Santana. Rachel didn't respond. Santana gently lifted up her head to meet her eyes. They looked dark and gloomy.

"I promise to help you get through this, okay?"

Rachel nodded. Santana rapped her arms around her. Rachel quickly sunk into her and began to sob.

Thirty minutes later, Rachel began to quiet down. Santana chose this moment to speak.

"Rachel, let's go eat dinner and then we'll carry on. Okay?"

"I'm not hungry, but you can go and eat if you are."

"Rachel you didn't eat lunch so your going to eat now." Santana said sternly.

"I'm not hungry." repeated Rachel.

"Berry, I will feed you myself if I have to" threatened Santana. Knowing when she was beaten, Rachel got up and headed to the kitchen.

* * *

Rachel stared down at her sandwich. She knew that she couldn't eat it so she just sat there.

"Berry you have to eat something." No response.

"Do you want me to feed you like a two year old?" Still no response.

"Okay, that's it" said Santana. She took a chair and dragged it so it was facing Rachel. She sat on the chair, halved the sandwich and lifted Rachel's head up.

"Take a bite Rach" she said. Rachel shook her head.

"Please." coaxed Santana

"Mmmhmm" replied Rachel, making sure to keep her mouth firmly shut.

"Please" Santana tried again. Finally, Rachel opened her mouth and took a bite.

"Good girl." Said Santana "Now finish the rest while I clean up."

Reluctantly, Rachel ate the rest of the sandwich.

After both Rachel and Santana finished. They went back to Rachel's room. The moment Rachel had been dreading. Her eyes were laced with fear as she stood in her room.

* * *

"Okay tiny, let's get back to business"

"I'm not that small" huffed Rachel.

"If you say so" chuckled Santana. They both sat opposite each other on Rachel's bed, cross legged.

"Rachel, how often do you cut in a week?" asked Santana.

Rachel just stared at her hands as if they were the most interesting things in the world. Santana moved towards her and took Rachel's hands in hers. The diva lifted her head up to meet Santana's eyes. Tears slowly went down Rachel's face. Santana gently wiped them with her thumbs.

"Rach I need to know" Santana said softly.

Rachel vigorously shook her head. She started to back away from Santana until her back hit the wall. Santana went to Rachel and placed her on her lap. She whispered soothing words into Rachel's ear, to prevent her from trembling. She immediately relaxed into her. When she had calmed down Santana spoke up.

"Sweetie, are you going to tell me now?" she questioned.

"I….I do it almost every day." Whispered Rachel.

"Okay that's a start" said Santana. "How often do you dads travel?" Rachel was quiet.

"Please Rach"

"About two to three months and when they do come back, they only stay for a week" she replied

"Okay, we can carry on tomorrow" Rachel just nodded. They sat there for a few minutes until Rachel looked up.

"Do you want to go down stairs and watch a movie?" she asked.

"Sure" answered Santana. They both made their way down stairs and Santana went to pick a movie. The phone rang and Rachel went to answer it.

* * *

"Hello?" she said

"Hi Rachel. It's Leory." He said

"Hi daddy. How is your business trip going?"

"It's going great sweetie but me and dad will have to stay here another month. Is that okay with you?" Rachel froze.

"Sweetie?"

"Umm, yeah that would be fine. Anyways I have to go now, bye. Love you."

She slammed the phone down and ran upstairs.

"Rachel, what's going on?" Santana asked. She ran upstairs into Rachel's room and saw the bathroom door closed.

"Shit" she mumbled. She tried to open the door but it was locked.

"Rachel, open the door!" Santana yelled. No response.

"Rachel, I will bring back up is I have to." No answer.

"Okay. Don't tell me that I didn't warn you."

Santana got her phone and dialed up a familiar number.

* * *

**Okay. My third chapter. Hope you like it.**


	4. Chapter 4

Not so perfect

"Where were you Santana? You know you missed practice. Coach is going to kill you." said Quinn

"I'm at Rachel's house."

"Why?"

"I'll explain later. Is Brittany there?"

"Yes"

"Okay, can you two go and buy bandages and then come to Berry's house?"

"Umm okay but I need an explanation when I get there"

"Okay, bye"

"See ya"

* * *

Santana put the phone down and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Rach, open the door please"

Still no reply

"Rachel Babra Berry, if you do not open the door I will knock it down myself!"

She heard a click and opened the door. There she found Rachel, curled up in a ball, sobbing quietly. Her arm had blood dripping from it.

"Rachel" Santana said softly. She picked up Rachel and placed her on the toilet seat. Then the bell rang.

"I'll be right back. Don't move" said Santana. She ran downstairs and opened the door.

"Hi San" said Brittany

"Hey Britt" replied Santana

"Okay, I want answers" said Quinn handing her the bandages.

"Wait, I'll explain when i'm done. Stay here" she said.

She ran upstairs and found Rachel right where she had left her.

"Okay Rachel, give me your arm" Rachel shook her head.

"Do you want me to call Quinn and Brittany up here?"

"No" said Rachel

"Then give me your arm."

Rachel reluctantly gave Santana her arm. "This is going to sting a little" warned Santana. And it did. Rachel yelped in pain. Then Santana bandaged her arm.

"Q and B are down stairs, Do you want to tell them or should I" asked Santana. She didn't answer.

"I will then. And don't think that we are not going to talk about what just happened " Rachel nodded and got ready for bed.

"Do you have any clothes I can borrow? I'm staying the night" Rachel gave her clothes and went to bed without another word.

* * *

Brittany and Quinn were waiting down stairs.

"What the hell is going on S" asked Quinn

"Look, Rachel's just going through something"

"That is..?"

"I asked you to bring bandages. Rachel always wears long sleeves. You put the pictures together." Quinn's breath got caught in her throat

"No she wouldn't" said Quinn in disbelief.

"Yes she would. I found out today at lunch time"

"I knew it" said Brittany

"What are you talking about B?" questioned Santana

"I knew about Rachel's cutting since last week. When I asked her about it she denied everything."

"So what are we going to do?" said Quinn

"I don't know but you two should go. We'll talk about this tomorrow"

"Okay bye S" said Quinn.

"Bye Sanny" said Brittany.

Santana went up stairs to the guest room to change. She woke up in the middle of the night to hear Rachel crying.

* * *

**So this is my fourth chapter. hope you like it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while.**

* * *

Santana got up and went to Rachel's room. She opened the door and found the diva on her bed sweating and breathing heavily as tears streamed down her face. Santana approached Rachel and hugged her. Rachel hung on to her and began to cry. When she had calmed down Santana spoke.

"Baby girl, do you want to talk about it?" Rachel shook her head.

"Okay. Do you want me to stay with you?" Rachel nodded. After a few moments of silence Rachel was asleep. Santana soon followed her.

Santana woke up and found Rachel cuddled up in her. She carefully got out of bed and set to work on finding all of Rachel's razors and threw out. When she had finished her quest(which had surprisingly taken longer than she thought she would have)she woke up Rachel.

"Come on sleeping beauty, time to wake up."

"5 more minutes" responded Rachel sleepily.

"Sweetie, come on you have to get up."

Rachel pouted and Santana swore that it was the most adorable thing she'd ever seen. Well next to Brittany's pot.

'Fine" huffed Rachel .

She got up and made her way to the bathroom. She looked everywhere for her razors but couldn't find them. Realization washed over her and was soon replaced by anger. She marched into her bedroom to find Santana waiting on her bed. Here we go Santana thought.

"Give them back "she spat.

"No" answered Santana calmly.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I care about you"

"No you don't. You already torment me in school, isn't that enough?" Guilt and regret washed over Santana.

"Baby girl, I'm really sorry for all the thing I've done to you and I swear I will make it up to you but you can't keep on doing this to yourself."

"I have every thing under control." Rachel's harsh tone made Santana's blood run cold but she shook it off.

"Oh really?" she began "Apart from yesterday, when was the last time you ate?"

Silence…..

"I thought so"

"Please give them back. I need them."

"I'm sorry but I can't."

Rachel stormed out of her room and went to check in her school bag. They were still there. She breathed a sigh of relief. Santana came downstairs. Rachel quickly put her razors away. She faced Santana, who had a puzzled look on her face.

"Fine don't give me my razors back. I don't care"

Santana was confused but decided to let it go.

"Come on I'll make breakfast" said Santana. Rachel slowly walked into the kitchen and sat down. Santana placed a bowl of cereal in front of her. Rachel just sat there staring at it.

"Rach, you have to eat something."

No response.

"Am I going to have to feed you again?"

Sighing Rachel ate a spoonful of her cereal. When Santana wasn't looking she quickly threw her breakfast away. When Santana turned around she saw Rachel's bowl empty.

"You've finished already?"

Rachel couldn't meet Santana's eyes.

"You threw it away didn't you?" No response.

"Come on. Your off the hook this time" After they set off for school.

* * *

"Hi Sanny, hi Rachel" greeted Brittany.

"Hi S, hi Rachel" said Quinn. Rachel just stood there, staring at the ground.

"S can you wait with B at the reception please?"

"Ummm okay?"

Santana walked away with Brittany leaving Quinn with the broken diva. She sat on the stairs of the front entrance and waited for Rachel to follow. When she had sat down, Quinn spoke.

"Rachel sweetie, look at me." Rachel carried on staring at the ground and nervously played with her hands. Quinn gently lifted up her head so she could meet her gaze.

"I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you. I don't expect you to forgive me but I swear if I had known, I would never have done it."

"I forgave you and Santana a long time ago Quinn but why did you do it? I offered you my friendship but you rejected it. I'm sorry about Finn. I didn't mean to take him away from you"

"Sweetie I know your sorry. I was jealous. I was a bitch. But everything we said to you isn't true. Your beautiful and talented."

"It's okay Quinn. You don't have to lie to me."

Quinn felt her heart shatter into pieces.

"Rach you have to believe me when I say that it isn't true. And you can't keep doing this to yourself."

"I need it"

"No you don't. Your better than this." Tears made their way down Rachel's face. Quinn wiped them away.

"And I promise that we will help you get through this"

Rachel nodded and Quinn rapped her in a hug. Rachel tightly held onto Quinn. After that they both went to meet up with Santana and Brittany.

* * *

As the four of them walked down the corridor people stared at them. Santana and Quinn glared at them. When Rachel got to her locker she was immediately slushed. Santana saw red and slammed the jock against the lockers. A shocked Rachel ran to the toilet.

"Listen here. Rachel Berry is off limits. If anyone of you so much as touches her, you'll have to deal with me and Quinn"

"And me" said Puck.

"B go to class. Q go and find Rachel. I need to do something."

"Kk, bye Sanny"

"Okay S"

Quinn went into the washroom and found Rachel.

* * *

**Well hope you enjoyed it. Please review.**


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